I don’t know how this works or if this is even the route I should take but I know that I’m tired of hurting behind the decisions he’s decided to make. My dad has been doing drugs for as far back I can remember, that is when he’s not in jail. Thought things would be different once he got a job because he said that that was the main thing that was holding him back from getting his life off track. He got this really good job that he seemed to do well at and then one weekend he went on like this random drug binge that caused him to miss work and ultimately losing the job. The manager tried to replace him but no one else really had that work ethic, a couple weeks later the guy allowed him to come back on a temporary basis and earn his keep. Here we are like several months later on a random Friday after he’s begged my mom to allow him to move with her because he needed what he called “a fresh start” and he comes from the garage high as a kite as if she wouldn’t notice. My life has been hard enough without having a constant empty spot that he should have filled. He’s never been to my games, recitals, put on my corsages for school dances or even seen me graduate. I’ve always wanted to be able to say to my friends “sorry I can’t go I got plans with my dad” but that’s never happened because got some reason drugs have always been more important than my brothers and I. At 27 I shouldn’t care what he does right, because I’m grown and past all the nonsense; but it hurts even more that my niece loves everything about her papa and he’s just going to hurt her how he hurt me. I just wish he’d get some help and be the man he claims he wants to be. Someone, anyone tell me what I need to do to help him. I feel like I’m still a child hurting and just wanting for him to be this super hero in my eyes but instead he’s like the only person that can get under my skin and bring out this hurt. At least when he’s in jail I don’t worry as much because I know he’s alive, but like this I can’t help but worry because I never know if this time will be the one that kills him. I need help in helping him.